Someone's Going In The Pool

I will say, it says something about the company you work for when you come in, Monday morning and everyone's desk has been dawned with a "holiday party safety kit" of sorts. The 'kit' includes instructions (more like a warning), a "floatation" device and an emergency contact list that includes everything from taxi service (A Guy With A Van) to Planned Parenthood. I apologize now for whatever happens on December 9th... ok, no I don't.. but this should be epic to say the least.